“If anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single psychic who’s been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that they are able to read minds…

and if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single astrologer who’s been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that they can predict future events by interpreting celestial signs…

and if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single homeopathic practitioner  who’s been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that solutions made up of infinitely tiny particles of good stuff dissolved repeatedly into relatively huge quantities of water have a consistently higher medicinal value than a similarly administered placebo…

and if anyone can show me one example in entire the history of the world of a single spiritual or religious person who’s been able to show either empirically or logically the existence of a higher power with any consciousness or interest in the human race or ability to punish or reward humans for their moral choices or that there is any reason other than fear to believe in any version of an afterlife…

I will give you my piano…

one of my legs…

and my wife.”

Tim Minchin