This is going to be a long post, so bare with me. We can get through this together, one word at a time.
I’m writing this at 1.40am, mainly because I can’t sleep. I think this is mostly due to fact that its really hot in my room – don’t know if that’s because of the new insulation we had installed or because of the heat my laptop has been giving out while I was using it earlier. A combination of the two I guess, but anyway I am going off on a tangent here.
So I was lying in bed, thinking about what I was going to write in my blog (that sounds just as sad in writing as it did in my head), when I thought I might as well just write it now, while its fresh in my mind.
As far as I was concerned, Terry and I were going to the cinema to see Spiderman 2 together, which I had invisioned in my mind as a date (he even used that word). But then he decided to invite Vilius, and no offence to Vil but I didn’t want him to come because (a) It was supposed to be just me and him and (b) I knew exactly what would happen if Vil came along. So I said no.
Today started off well, I got up at 10am (earliest I’ve volentarily got up since I got back from uni I think!) and rang Daniel, making plans for him coming over. Actually he rang me, as I only had £1 credit at that point (not just a random fact, plays a big part in what I’ve been doing this week).
Helped mum unpack the shopping at lunchtime, then had lunch, and soon after Daniel was round with his laptop in tow. We connected our computers up, and to my home network so we shared an internet connection. Daniel was pleased to be on broadband again and was soon downloading things off the internet. We shared some files, chatted about stuff and generally had a mini-LAN in my front room (aside from the fact that we didn’t actually play any games. Well, he did, but I have none installed yet – apart from Half Life and Hamster Ball.
Which reminds me, Daniel I need Worms World Party off you. (I do have a legal copy of it, and so does he thankyouverymuch but I prefer not to use the CD)
It didn’t seem like long until Daniel’s Mum came round to pick him up. She and my Mum got talking (as Mums do) and discussed us going to uni etc., and also our good friend Jaimie. How nice.
Well, Terry invited me again to come to the cinema (How nice of him, to ask me to come out – when we were supposed to be going alone anyway!) and I once again refused. Then Vilius rang me, asking if it was ok if Benas came too – obviously Terry hadn’t told Vil I was not coming. I let him know, and Vil asked me to come so I agreed. I would go if Vil wanted me to. But I still knew it was going to turn out bad in the end.
Terry texted me at the last minute saying he was too stuck in traffic to pick us up, so Vilius drove us instead. Supervised by his Dad of course. We soon met with Terry, I was still very angry at him (and why shouldn’t I be? He went out of his way to make me unhappy) and so I didn’t talk to him with as much enthusiasm as I could have. He took this badly, saying I was blanking him, and for the rest of the night he didn’t talk to me. Charming.
The film was pretty good. Mainly because the first film was all about the origin of Spiderman, with a bit of action near the end (and not much plot). This one didn’t have much more plot (and the plot was ridiculous, don’t get me started on the pointlessness of the arms having AI, and the unlikelyness that he would use them when only a tiny microchip was stopping them taking over his brain), but there WAS plenty of action. And a few surprises, some twists, some sad moments where I actually welled up a bit, and an ending left WIDE OPEN for Spiderman 3. Also, isn’t it odd how the people who died in the first film all returned in this one as ghostly images. Are all the characters insane??
After the film, Terry drove us home, and did not talk to me the entire ride home, choosing instead to turn his music right up. Then when he got outside my house he practically threw me out the door without so much as an apology. I said “Aren’t you even going to say sorry?” He replied “Sorry” but if you have to ask for an apology, how sincere can it be?
When I got in, I texted him a couple of times (texts to him cost 6p, and I now only have 81p!! To last me until Sunday when my free texts kick in again) so I could not say what I wanted to say to him in texts. And the day he calls me hell will freeze over. So basically we’ve left it like that, no explanation as to why he treats me so badly all the time (even after all the trouble he went through to get me back) and no apologies. Only messaged me to let me know he wanted to meet Friday. Will be another staying in my room night, he’ll be sleeping on my bed because he is tired, we’ll fight a bit and things will never get sorted out. I just wish it could, and that we could be happy, but am I beeing far too naive to think it will ever work? Does he want it to work, or just to stay together until he’s lived with us all that he has to. I will probably never know.