BT Engineer… from hell!


My Dad really cracks us up. Last night, for the first time in ages (possibly cos I’m been at uni all this time) he put me and my sister in uncontrollable fits of laughter again. He always tells us about the funny people he’s seen and funny situations but this one was quite memorable for being one of the most shocking. Here’s what he said:

We were all at the table eating tea, and Dad was telling us what he did at work (he works as a BT Engineer, going up poles, digging holes and fixing people’s phones) when he said “I frightened the life out of a little girl today”. Mum asked “Why?!” and he replied “she came up to me while I was working outside her house and asked in the most annoying voice “What ARE you doing!?”, so I gave her the most evil look I could manage and told her “I’m looking for dead bodies!””

Other things he’s told little kids are “I’m knitting” (don’t know what, but this cracked Leanne up), “I’m planting trees” and my personal favourite, “I’m digging under your fridge to steal your food!”. It may not sound too funny to you now but the fact that our Dad warped little kids’ minds in such a way was hilarious to us, and Mum was shocked “we’ll have the police coming over soon!”

He then went on and told us about his favourite time, in Winter when he and a colleage were working and some kids started throwing snowballs at them. To get revenge, they told the kids to hold a piece of wire for them and not to let go. Obediantly, they held the wire, then my Dad and his friend turned on the machine and zapped them with 500 volts! They screamed excitingly, asking what it was, and if they could have another go!!

Another one of the funny things he told us was what he said he always does when he’s bored. If a kid is crossing his path, he would quickly point and say in an urgent voice “DON’T TREAD ON THAT WIRE!!!” Of course, there is no wire but the kid panics, waves around and asked “what wire?” so Dad continues to point and says “That wire! Its full of electric, it’s very dangerous!”

So if you see a BT engineer working near your house, don’t approach him – just walk calmly away. He may be my dad – Engineer from HELL!!

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In other news, I’m now even MORE confused about Terry. He came round last night and was actually really nice. We’ve worked out that it’s just a vicious circle: he acts like he doesn’t care cos he hates it when I moan at him, and I moan at him cos he doesn’t care. So we both agreed that I will stop moaning and he will start caring, lol. Will see how it goes.

Oooh, and I HAVE 1.1 MBPS INTERNET CONNECTION NOW!!! So good 🙂 20 times as fast as Dial-up!

Also, I got the shock of my life when I looked at the webstats for today for the first time. Will put the total for July up at the end of July.. and then ask you who you all are who keep visiting!

– Shaun

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